


Leo's Shifting Lines Fan One Shots

by Dolphin77



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Shifting Lines - DovahTobi
Genre: Abusive Parents, F/M, Gay Remus Lupin, Indian James Potter, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Neurodivergent Remus Lupin, Neurodivergent Sirius Black, POC James Potter, Pansexual Sirius Black, Period-Typical Homophobia, Remus needs a hug, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sirius Needs a Hug, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolphin77/pseuds/Dolphin77
Summary: What do I do? I reread Shifting Lines, find something that'll make me cry and write it. Sometimes you'll get fluff, emphasis on sometimes
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. The Thought Crime Of Filicide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DovahTobi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahTobi/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Shifting Lines - Book Two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23003809) by [DovahTobi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahTobi/pseuds/DovahTobi). 



> This takes place on the 14th of September 1973, Remus' third year of Hogwarts.

Remus lay on the floor, trying not to move too much, to aggravate any of his injuries. This moon had been more violent than his Hogwarts moons usually were. The first moon of the school year was always the worst; the wolf didn’t like change, but at least it wasn’t as bad as his moon in June. The wolf hated the confined space of the cellar and that along with its confusion at being in a new place and a four day moon was enough to keep Remus in bed for a week. 

He braced himself, put his hand on the wall, stood up, despite the immense pain and staggered to the bathroom, dabbing at his injuries and forcing himself to look at his mangled leg. Remus felt that just bleeding until he was unconscious on the floor was better than putting himself through all this pain to help treat injuries that would go away on their own. Remus felt grimy, dirty as though he’d just been rolling through mud and blood. Knowing the wolf, he might have been doing that. He put the water on in the bath and sat in it, feeling his consciousness fade away, Remus knew that falling asleep in the bath was dangerous, he could drown due to his small stature, but Remus also knew that he could heal from any injury and drowning would give him some small relief from his pain.

()

Remus woke up again, wrapped in bandages, in the small room in the hospital wing. “Oh good, you’re awake.” Madame Pomfrey said, noticing the small boy open his eyes. “You might not want to hear this right this minute but I have to talk to you about bathing with your injuries.” Remus wanted to fall asleep again, not in the mood for a lecture. “Bathing with the amount of open wounds you have will draw the blood out of them and make it much harder to regain energy. When I came into the bathroom you were bathing in blood, Remus, the water was red. I don’t know what you do at home but over here, at least, you have to listen to me.” she paused. “I’m going to give you an incentive to do this, if you don’t bath after your moons next month I’ll consider letting you stay in the house for the days you transform. Remus perked up at that. “Now, your friend Sirius wants to talk to you, do you want him to come in?”  
“Yeah he can come in.”  
Madame Pomphrey helped Remus into a jumper, opened the door and left to check on her other patients.  
“Remy!” he said, about to hug him. He was holding a book that he quickly concealed from him. “Sorry, you’re injured.” he sat down on the stool next to Remus’ bed, he was sitting on the book. “What are you reading?” Remus asked.  
“Uh… sorry in advance but… well I knew that you had a Muggle book and I needed to read a Muggle book for Muggle Studies and I know that you have a few and I found this book in your bag, it’s called ‘The Cure of Lycanthropy’ and I started reading it and it’s absolutely horrible. Where did you get it? I know it’s in the school library, I saw it in first year but I never picked it up? Is that where you got it?”  
Remus stared at the floor, of course Sirius had to read the Cure of Lycanthropy. “My dad, h-he used t-to work f-for th-the beasts department in the ministry. We’ve had it since before… you know. He makes me read it a lot, when I’m at home. He made me take it with me th-this year in case I got c-careless. To remind me what the w-world th-thinks of… my kind.”  
Sirius looked at him and put his and on his shoulder. “No wonder you have nightmares. That book is sick.” he looked away from Remus. “You haven’t stuttered when you talked to me since last year, when we said we knew.” They sat in silence for a moment. “The book doesn’t say who wrote it, it’s blotted out, how about we go to the library to see if we can unblot that one. I think there’s a spell, but I don’t think we should do it on your copy.”  
Remus nodded, a marauder mission was just what he needed to get his mind off the book’s contents.

()

“Can I go now?” Remus asked Madam Pomfrey. “I’ll wear a jumper and pajamas and not my uniform if that’s what it takes to get out of the hospital wing. I just want to go to my classes.”  
“You can go and wait outside, what’s your last class?”  
“I think it’s Defence Against the Dark Arts.”  
“You can wait outside the Defence classroom, take this note and give it to the teacher. And yes, I would like you to stay in your jumper and pajamas.”  
Remus shoved on some shoes, grabbed his wand and the note and walked out of the Hospital Wing. It was nearly the end of their second last period but the sun was still high in the sky, Remus liked the sun, especially after moons, it was basically the opposite of the moon, it didn’t tug, it didn’t demand any change, it just existed, day after day, month after month with no change. Remus decided he’d go outside after classes, to enjoy the sun while it lasted.  
“Remus?” Professor Canem asked.  
“Hello, Professor”  
“What are you doing here? I thought you’d be in the hospital wing. And why are you wearing hospital pajamas and a jumper.”  
“Madam Pomfrey said that I could go to my last class if I wore hospital pajamas and a jumper so here I am. The jumper covers the bandages, the pajamas are short sleeved and I can’t wear short sleeved clothing.”  
“Why don’t you wait inside.”  
Remus walked into the classroom and handed him the note.  
“It says here that you aren’t going to be doing any magic, to keep the noise down because you have a ‘headache’ and that you are allowed to wear pajamas to class because you’re sick.” he paused. “Well that won’t be a problem. I was planning a lesson on Bogarts and I’m aware that yours may be a full moon. Don’t worry, those who don’t want to share their Bogart with the class can work with me in private lessons. You won’t be the only one.”  
“Good, can I borrow this, my text book’s in my dorm and really don’t want to walk up there until I have to.”  
“Of course, I’d suggest reading up on Bogarts before your lesson.”  
Remus opened the book and started to read before the class started. It was all stuff he knew already, but he took notes to bring to the study group just in case.  
“Remus!” Lily ran to him and gave him a hug which Remus found extremely uncomfortable. “James said you were sick again. I was so worried.”  
“I’m ok now.”  
But even as he said that he knew he was lying. He never felt ok the day after a moon, to be honest, he hadn’t felt ok since his first moon. He doubted he’d ever be ok after that.

()

“So, you mentioned something to do tonight in the library.” James said. “Are we going to do something?”  
“I was thinking just me and Remus should do it. But we’ll need to borrow your invisibility cloak.”  
“Does it have something to do with-”  
Sirius blushed bright red. “No!” he shouted. “It doesn’t.”  
“Ok, just asking.”  
“I’m going to push you into the lake, Potter.”  
“Not if I can’t first!”  
“Fight, fight, fight!” Peter chanted.  
Sirius ran after James and they shoved each other around, laughing like maniacs, “Locomotor Sirius’ robes!” James cast, making Sirius’ robes drag him into the water.  
“Help me out, dummy.” Sirius said, reaching out his hand. James took it and Sirius dragged him into the lake.  
“Told you, you’re a dummy.”  
“Well done… Siri.”  
They climbed out of the lake, grinning like idiots. These were the times that Remus did feel ok, surrounded by friends, sure, idiot friends, but friends nonetheless.

()

“You promise to let us use your cloak.” Sirius said, eying the cloak in question.  
“Yes, but you have to bring it back in one piece.” James said clutching the cloak to his chest. “It’s a family heirloom, my dad will kill me if I lose it. And then my mum will kill my dad. And then my mum will be sent to Azkaban, it’ll be a tragedy, the Potter family will be forever shamed and the main family line will die. This is a matter of life or death.”  
“We get it, James,” Remus said. “If we don’t bring it back your father will commit filicide.”  
“Here…” he said, handing them the cloak. Sirius put the cloak over them and walked out of the dorm and down in the common room. Sirius grabbed his hand and Remus felt his heart beat a little faster, they were walking, hand in hand. If people could see them he would probably have fainted. 

They walked outside the common room and Remus directed them to the library. This was probably why they were holding hands, so he could guide him without talking. Nothing else, no other reason. Why would there be, and why would he want there to be, the very idea was insane. They turned a corner and walked through the library doors. “Lumos” they cast, lighting their wands up.  
“It’s in the magical beasts section. I’ll lead the way.”  
They walked to the section where Remus said the book was and started scanning the shelves for ‘The Cure of Lycanthropy’.  
“There!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus grabbed the book and opened it to the publication page. “Sirius, what’s the spell.”  
“Um… it’s Auferaqua.”  
“Auferaqua!” Remus cast. His wand glow changed colour into black light and then lightened slowly. “Why isn’t it working?” Remus asked. His arm was getting heavy, his energy was slipping away and the only improvement was the blot getting slightly lighter. “You have to hold it!”  
Remus held the spell for several seconds, getting weaker and weaker until it was finally gone. He fell to his knees on the ground.  
“Who is then? Who do we have to write threatening letters to?”  
Sirius paused. “I haven’t heard of the first name before…”  
“Who is it, Sirius.”  
“I think you might be related to him…”  
“Sirius Black, can you give me a straight answer.” Remus said, furious.  
“Lyall Lupin.”


	2. Somebody That I Used to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced Suicide  
> This is the Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher in Remus' third year's internal monologue/backstory  
> It's really angsty, almost too angsty.

He loved him, he cared about him, he killed him. But he has to tell them, tell all of them the truth of the beasts, the beasts that he hated. The beast that’s soul he destroyed The beast that loved him back. The beast- no- the person that loved him and believed themself unlovable. To tell them his mistakes, how could he do it, how could he tell them what he did. How could he tell them what he did to the boy he loved. The werewolf he loved.

All he could do was remember that someone else could make the same mistake he did.  
And he had to stop them.

But it wasn’t a mistake, he knew full well what he was doing. What he was doing. 

He had blonde hair, bleached by the sun, he was tall, he had yellow- almost gold eyes, he had olive skin. He was beautiful by Lex's standard and in Lex’s humble opinion, his standard was pretty good.

But he was a beast. No one knew it, he couldn’t bear to tell anyone. No one knew how it happened, only he did. That secret died with him.

When they learned about werewolves in third year, Lex hated them, monstrous beasts, he called them. Lex didn’t know he was calling him a monstrous beast. But would he have cared. Would he have said what he said if he knew what would happen. If he knew how he would die.

Lex liked to think that he would’ve. He was probably wrong. He was young and immature, like that was any excuse. 

It wasn’t an excuse. It was a fact. He was an idiot and that’s what killed his boyfriend.

It was a full moon. Lex was wandering around the castle, his boyfriend had taken his History of Magic textbook and then disappeared, he needed it back, to study for his O.W.Ls. He leaped over a hole in the ground and then he saw it. He saw the best tearing up his book. And then he realised who it was. He leaped back over the hole before it could catch him. He stayed there the whole night. And then the beast shifted, back into a human. Back into him. And he looked at the hole and then at the beast. At the beast he used to love. 

And then he jumped, into the hole, onto the silver spikes, into the cold embrace of death. Instead of the warm embrace of Lex. Because Lex knew. And Lex would hate him. And that was something that he couldn’t deal with.

Lex never told a soul, he never took back his book. He didn’t shed a tear. The beast was gone, the day was saved and Lex was supposed to be happy. He wasn’t.

Because his friend was gone, his love was gone, his soul was gone. 

But he continued with his life. And he swore that he’d honor his memory and he’d tell them they weren’t beasts but who would listen to a broken person who’d lost their purpose at fifteen. But he hadn’t lost his purpose, he swapped. He was no one. He was just somebody that he used to know.


	3. You're a child, not a beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW referenced child abuse.  
> Sirius' pov  
> Takes place a day after 'The Thought Crime of Filicide'

“What are you reading?” Sirius asked, climbing into Remus’ bed and closing the curtains. He still felt uncomfortable doing it, but his friend was upset and he knew, without him being right in front of him he’d just twist his earphones and go back to reading.  
“I started reading a book Ms. Fawley gave me. Then I read the Hobbit, now I’m reading the Fellowship of the Ring.”  
“Are those your Lord of the Ring books.”  
Remus nodded and opened up the book again, Sirius pushed it down. “Tell me about them. I might read the Horklump-”  
“Hobbit-”  
“-for my Muggle Studies and I need to know if it’s any good. So tell me what’s it about, I don’t care about spoilers.”  
“So, hobbits are like people but they’re short and quicker and live in holes in the ground-”  
“Like you?”  
Remus ignored him. “And there’s a whole other explanation but I don’t feel like giving it right now. So there’s one hobbit, he’s named Bilbo Baggins and he’s approached by a group of dwarves and a wizard to go on an adventure and-”  
“Is the wizard real? Peter said there’s a muggle story about Merlin.”  
“No the wizard’s not real. His name is Gandalf.”  
“Ok, so Hobbit’s are mini Remys, there’s a wizard, who’s not real, called Gandalf and a bunch of… dwarves?”  
“Yeah. And they’re going to find a dragon and steal back their treasure.”  
“What type of dragon?”  
“Tolkin was a muggle, he doesn’t know about the different types of dragons.”  
“So they’re going out of Bilbo’s hole to fight a dragon and steal all of their treasures.”  
“And they fight giant spiders-”  
“Acromantula?”  
“Basically, and they also fight trolls who freeze in the sunlight.”  
“Vampire trolls”  
Remus laughed. “Yes, vampire trolls.” He carried on explaining the plot of the Hobbit but Sirius wasn’t really listening, he was more focused on the way Remus’ eyes lit up when he was talking about the adventures of Bilbo Baggins. He was more focused on the way he seemed to forget everything that was troubling him. It was sort of like drawing. When Sirius drew, he didn’t think about anything. He threw himself into the art, just so he didn’t have to think, reading was just Remy’s way of doing that.  
“-and then he went home and wrote ‘there and back again’ which is basically the Hobbit. So he, in universe, wrote his own book.”  
Sirius looked into his eyes, they were still excited, but now the moment was gone, he could almost see them go heavy again, he could see the happiness fade away.  
“Come on,” he said, reaching out a hand. “Let’s, let’s talk away from here.”  
They walked out of the common room, down the stairs, to the entrance hall and outside. It was about seven and the sun had just started rising so it was cold, they walked to Fort Dragon together, Sirius dreading what he was about to do. “Remus… how can you say that your parents love you, when you said that at home you transform in a dark cellar.”  
“Is this what this ‘talking’ is about.” Remus said, glaring at him.   
“Answer the question.”  
“Because I’m a… you know... my dad had to leave his job at the ministry and we don’t have enough money to get a big enough place to transform.” Remus looked livid. “Plus, the wolf doesn’t need a big place to transform.”  
“You said it hurts when you transform, you said that… you said that when you go home, you rip your body apart even more.”  
“I shouldn’t have told you anything…”  
“Your dad wrote this book!” Sirius threw Remus’ copy of the Cure for Lycanthropy on the ground. “And forces you to read it and you still think he loves you.”  
“Well they love me! They didn’t break my arm!”   
Sirius went quiet. “How did you know that?” Remus shrugged.“It was pretty obvious. Your handwriting was messy, I know how to keep secrets. Do you think I wouldn’t notice that you kept secrets from me?”  
“Alright…” he said finally. “Fine, I know they don’t love me. I’ve known it since day one… but at least I’m admitting it, I’m admitting they don’t love me. You’re not.”  
“Because they do!”  
Sirius blazed with anger. “Why do they force you to read a book telling you all the awful ways that people want to kill you.”  
“Sirius-”  
“Why did your dad write that book in the first place?”  
“Listen to-”  
“Why does your mother write you letters, manipulating you into coming home?”  
“They-”  
“Why did they make you believe that you’re a monster?”  
“But-”  
“Give me an answer.”  
Remus clenched his fists. “I am a monster. I’m a five X beast. I tear myself apart every month because I want a human to kill. I’m a monster even when it’s not the full moon. I’m pretty angry right now and I certainly feel like a monster. It’s not anything like that! I’m not a child so they can’t be abusing me. They love me as much as you could love a pathetic beast like me!”  
Remus stormed off, grabbing his book off the floor. 'I shouldn’t have said anything, but I had to knock some sense into him somehow.' Sirius thought as he walked up to the Gryffindor common room. As he sat down in one of the armchairs next to the fire he had a sudden realisation. 'I know exactly who to talk to.'


End file.
